Lights out? It's gonna be a good day

Full Clearance: When you know you will have unabated access to the bathroom and the stall of your choice.

Rare is the work bathroom that comes equipped with an auto light that goes off after nobody's been in there for awhile.

Combine the presence of said technology with a workplace that is predominately female and you have a Full Clearance situation.

That's what greeted me this Monday morning when the go-time feeling struck. It was an usual time for this to come over for me, and given the possibility for maximum traffic - coffee-filled co-workers in need of unloading their excess rocket fuel - there was no guarantee of a cakewalk of a poopwalk.

But upon finding the room dark, I was a) guaranteed no one was in there and b) guaranteed neither stall had been used all day. It was to be a Throne of my Own.

If you can find a way to convince your employer to install one of these veritable pooptime traffic lights, I highly encourage you to do so.